On May 16, the NYC chapter of MBA Women International hosted Elena Rand Kaspi (founder of LawScope Coaching and an experienced Executive Career Coach) to talk with us about confidence and how it leads to success. Our own VJ Niles acted as moderator starting the discussion off with several questions. Quickly, a conversation developed as others added questions and comments. It was a lively discussion, and we all learned quite a bit about ourselves and how to increase our confidence.
At first, we discussed confidence in general and learned that confidence is not innate. It is a skill that we learn, so we should not beat ourselves up for not being confident. Women are also very ambivalent to confidence. We create an upper limit in our heads that we feel we shouldn’t cross. It keeps us from exhibiting any confidence.
Elena shared several tips with us on developing confidence. First, we need to control our negative chatter – the thoughts that pop up that tells us that we aren’t good enough or can’t do something. She suggested listing all of your negative chatter (or your top ten!) and then finding evidence that proves that negative chatter is incorrect. When the negative chatters starts, you now have access to examples to combat it. Second, everyone should have a transitional object (an object that is associated with winning) on them at all times. Whenever you feel your confidence faltering, just access the transitional object and remember your wins. She also gave us several examples of how to introduce ourselves at networking events and how to handle various situations that we’ve found ourselves in.
Elena mentioned that she is currently working on a book that combines her backgrounds and experiences in law, psychoanalysis, and career counseling to share more insights and research on confidence and career development. I for one look forward to reading it when it becomes available!
The event was inspirational and very useful, and I’d like to thank Elena for taking the time to speak with us.
